Deal or No Deal

The WORST thing about Deal or No Deal, playing this week on NBC, is:

a. Host Howie Mandel's gilded, shiny dome.

b. The shadowy banker lurking upstairs playing solitaire, surfing the net, watching TV or, I don't know, doing sudoku?!?

c. The abnormally spastic contestants and their overly vociferous families.

d. The stirring affirmation of America's infatuation with greed, money and the objectification of women.

Me? I vote d.

Vegas Baby...

Greetings from Sin City. Some fun facts about Vegas:

1. Some 1.3 million people live in Clark County (which contains Vegas and surroundings). The entire state is only just under 2 million.
2. Between 4,000 and 6,000 people move into Clark County monthly. LA refugees?!?
3. In 2000 there were more than 124,270 hotel rooms available.
4. About 965 cabs service Vegas, along with 365 limos (which is what I travel in of course).
5. There are 35 wedding chapels in Vegas.
6. More than 500 churches and synagogues.
7. "Las Vegas" means "the meadows" in Spanish. Name change?!?
8. In June 95, there were 122,800 slot machines in Vegas.
9. And here's the clincher...Clark County casinos won 5.8 billion dollars in just the first 9 months of 2001.

It happened

Mark the moment: Saturday, February 25, 2006 at 5:48 in the evening. Partly cloudy day in Clovis. 69 degrees, 24% humidity and barometric pressure 30.02 in and dropping.

Josh just beat me in MarioKart. The day has come.

For the record, it was Mario Raceway, I was Mario and he was D.K. On the third lap, he nailed me with 3 red shells and then zoomed past me using a Star. My comeback was derailed when I ran straight into a bomb. I was at the last treats as he crossed the line saying, "Yes! I'm coming like a train!"

But never worry. I still dominate him in the low post...

Yet another sign that the apocalypse is upon us

Alright people. So this guy interrupted a curling match. Evidently the referee tackled him (after all, what else does a curling ref do than be on the watch for streakers?!?). Full story here. The only thing better would have been him sliding down the double's luge track...

And, by the way, why didn't I know that my friend Ed was at the Olympics? And, where'd he get that chicken?

Sudden Onset Jingoism (SOJ)

So when it comes to all things American society, most of the time I like to see myself as an "appreciative critic;" that is, I am grateful for many of the freedoms and values which I enjoy and yet I also am (increasingly) unafraid to be critical of the culture when I find injustice.

Which is why I surprise myself by going bonkers when Team USA is playing in international sports! During those times, I am NUTS for the Americans. I will not miss a game and it's not unusual to hear me "oohing" and "aahing" with every rush up the ice or the court. I admit it, I turn jingoist!

So props tonight to the US Men's hockey team! They were "out-talented" but fought hard. Go Sasha and Kimmie! Go Apollo! Even Bode, go Bode!

Latest sign the apocalypse is upon us...

How tragic to hear in passing this morning on the radio that there is a company on the web called alibinetwork.com (they don't deserve a hyperlink). Evidently if you are wanting to cheat on your spouse, and if you have some cash, you can hire these folks to craft a believable alibi to ensure that your infidelity remains hidden.

It's horrific of course, but it's also indicative. Of what? Of America's entrepreneurial and money-making spirit. And of our willingness to go to any lengths to get what we want.

Join me in praying!

Book Recommendation

I'm maybe two-thirds of the way through Adventures in Missing the Point by "Mr. Postmodern" Brian McLaren and Tony Campolo, and I'm appreciating it very much.

McLaren and Campolo analyze a litany of cultural issues facing the church (salvation, end times, women in leadership, homosexuality, etc.), and they challenge a traditional, modern understanding of each and every one! It's a compelling articulation of the complexity we find ourselves in.

Adventures is the kind of book that gives more questions than answers, and so you are challenged to think a lot. In fact, it would be a great book to read with others. But beware to the reader! You'll need to check your dogmatism at the front cover.

Want more? There's a synopsis on the book webpage here.

Note to my Dad: I recommend the "social action" chapter!

The Night Before

The top 10 signs that you are an exhausted campus minister the night before a weekend conference:

10. You don't have time for Mario Kart (sorry Josh!).
9. Your to-do lists have to-do lists.
8. You start to think: "Students?!? Who needs 'em!"
7. Your cell phone runs out of power...twice.
6. You forget to eat, poop or breathe.
5. Mid-call, you can't remember who you're talking to.
4. You start to wonder if perhaps a career in doubles luge might be better.
3. You begin to question your salvation.
2. You wish you were out hunting with V.P. Cheney.
1. All you can think about are random blog posts!!!

The WORST event at the Winter Olympics...

...has to be the doubles luge. I mean I'm not a big curling guy either, but at least that sport makes some sense to me (after all, isn't it just shuffleboard on ice?!?). But I don't get the doubles luge, and here's why:

It's gratuitous. I think the luge is cool, but why do we need doubles luge? It's like someone just decided that lumping another person on top of a luger would make for great TV. Maybe the conversation went like this: "Let's dress another guy up in spandex and put him on the sled as well! Well, where're we gonna put him? Right on top of the other guy! Genius!"

I know. While we're at it, let's do the quad luge at the next Olympics. Stack four dudes on a sled, tie 'em on with bungee cords and see what happens down the track. Or maybe we need the family luge event. Grab the kids, get 'em in a skinsuit and hold on tight! Or perhaps a luge train. String like 10 two person sleds together, blow the whistle and chug down the run.

I think the finals are on tonight. I think I'll clean the office until Bob Costas switches us to the Nordic Combined...

Props to Ace Hardware

I heard an Ace Hardware commercial on the radio today, John Madden speaking on their behalf. When I've heard these commercials before, the jingle at the end has gone: "Ace is the place with the helpful hardware man." Can you hear it in your head now?!?

NOT ANY MORE!!! Now it's a woman singing: "Ace is the place with the helpful hardware folks."

A bow to political correctness? Maybe. But I like it. In our family, Amy knows just much about hardware stores and home improvement projects as I do. Case in point? My "quick" closet door makeover that's taken now, oh, about 7 months (and counting)...

I was at this love-in...

...and strangely this guy was missing! On Monday I was on campus at a student protest directed toward an, um, antagonistic Christian preacher/evangelist. The love-in (which oh by the way ended with a display of indescriminate smooching) was put together by some gay and lesbian students who are often the targets of the preacher's "preaching." Here's what the Fresno Bee had to say this morning:

"Hundreds of people showed up at Fresno State's Free Speech area on Monday to teach a preacher about acceptance and to express their anger toward his style of evangelism...for three years, [the preacher] has given Monday sermons [on campus]. But some students say [he] preaches hate because he condemns homosexuality and slams any religion that isn't fundamentalist Christian."

Here's the thing. What strikes me about both groups, the love-in freaks and the preacher(s), is that they are each promoting Scripture. The preacher uses one set of passages, the ones that speak of God's righteous judgment and what it means to live in godliness. The folks from Monday use a different set of passages, the ones that emphasize God's love and compassion. The real tragedy is that the truth is somewhere in the middle but because of the mutual disdain, it's tough to imagine either group ever getting there.

So what to do? We were present in an effort to be aware of what's happening with our students. Some of our IV students are friends with the protestors and are trying to help them interpret where God is in all of this. Most of all, we pray for our campus.

If you want to follow the story, I'm sure there will be more info in tomorrow's college paper here.

From the cynic

I don't know him personally, of course, but God bless Jerry Falwell. A few issues ago, Newsweek had a story about the successful debate team from his campus, Liberty University. The article had this violent gem from Falwell:

"We are training debators who can perform assault ministry."

Flash forward to the February 13 Newsweek which contains the following correction:

"In the Feb. 6 article 'Cut, Thrust and Christ,' we misquoted Jerry Falwell as using the words 'assault ministry.' In fact, Falwell was referring to 'a salt ministry,' a reference to Matthew 5:13 where Jesus says 'ye are the salt of the earth.'"

Now am I just a total cynic, or does that sound fishy to anyone else?

A Visit with "Shaner"

One of the things I love about Fresno is the many opportunities I get to experience justice-related activities. This past Thursday I went downtown with my Staff community to spend a night hearing from Shane Claiborne on the topic of, get this, "the New Monasticism."

Who is Shane Claiborne? Here's an excerpt from his bio:

Shane is a graduate of Eastern University with graduate work from Princeton Seminary. Shane is a founding partner of The Simple Way, a radical faith community that lives among and serves the homeless in Kensington, North Philadelphia. Shane has helped birth and connect many grassroots Christian communities throughout the country, as well as prophetically awaken many others to consider the Gospel as a way of life. Shane writes and travels extensively speaking about peacemaking, social justice, and Jesus, and is the author of the book The Irresistible Revolution. He was also featured on the front cover of Christianity Today: (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/009/16.38.html)

So I wasn't sure what to expect, but Shane really challenged my/our thinking. The processing time afterward at Denny's was priceless! But here's just one thing I've been chewing on since Thursday:

In Mark 10:29-30 Jesus says this: "And Jesus replied, "I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return, a hundred times over, houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property--with persecutions. And in the world to come they will have eternal life."

At The Simple Way, they have a concept they call "mystical multiplication," a term they use to describe the seeming paradox that when you give the most up, you get the most (and more) back from Jesus. What a crazy thing! Honestly, it's like poker, only with a guarantee (albeit a guarantee that you have to choose to have faith in). In the life of a disciple, you have to go "all in" (repeatedly--on every hand!) in order to get the good stuff. Do I do that, or do I hold on to some in reserve? That's a troubling question.

So we'll call it "playing Jesus poker with your life." Thanks, Shane, for asking a great, if not disturbing, question. Here's a JPEG of Shane's new book (on order for me tomorrow!):

You and your inner hip hop

One of my Staff is a graphic designer on the side, and he and a buddy have a small but growing (soon) clothing line called wkproducts.

What are they about you ask? "W" stands for wisdom (spelled "wizdom") and "k" stands for knowledge (spelled "nolij"). It's about sharing truth on a t-shirt. So get in touch with your inner hip hop and support your Fresno Staff entrepreneurs online at wkproducts.com.

I don't quite get...

...why the heezy they put a U.C. campus out in Merced, CA. I was out there today and it is a crazy place. Picture a dinky, central valley cow town, drive 10 minutes east out into the fields, then imagine a top notch research university. It is totally surreal. Here's a somewhat dated (year old) picture of the construction:



Couple more crazy things about UC Merced:

• Someone told me today that the library on campus will be the most technologically advanced library in the state
• The campus population right now is over 30% Asian, which isn't weird until you realize that the city of Merced is only just over 10% Asian
• The mascot is the Bobcat. Are there bobcats in the central valley at all? I've lived here for a year and a half and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen any bobcats running around Clovis

Here's an artist's rendering of what's it's gonna look like someday (they are estimating eventually 20K students):



While we're at it, I humbly submit my ideas for future educational facilities in our fine central valley:

University of California at Earlimart
West Turlock Poly
The Lemoore School of Mines
Cal State Fowler
The Dunlap Institute of Technology
Reedley College (oh wait, they already have that one)

Awash in a Sea of Transition

Everyone around me is in transition. Check that, so are we. Everyone in my life, including our family, is in transition. For us the countdown is now 58 days until we meet Baby #3. But for my 6 Staff partners and friends in particular it's mostly about figuring out a peculiar, utterly subjective, slightly annoying thing we like to call, well, call.

I feel like I have had the same conversation going on like 10 times in the last several days, and so here is the jist of what I find myself telling these folks. How do you determine/discern "calling?"

1. What's the voice of God saying? I like this one, it's easy. Actually, it's the "trump card" in the calling sweepstakes. God's clear voice telling you what his will is. Lots of examples in the Bible: Abraham, Isaiah, Nehemiah, Paul, Peter. This is the big daddy, but it seems pretty rare today. Maybe only 1 of my folks is discerning God's clear voice. What's up with that, I wonder?!?

2. What's the voice of community saying? I was talking with Robert today and he said, "I just keep having conversations with people hoping that someone will ask me the key question." Good move. We need our friends and family to help us sort out call. What is the chorus of community voices saying as they consider your life/options?

3. What's your gut saying? I think God puts specific burdens on our hearts. How else can you explain my love for Latin America, someone esle's passion for Bosnia and one of my friends' care for China. Somehow God hard-wires us to care about certain things more than others. What is your gut telling you to care about/spend your life on? What gets you up in the morning? What do you find yourself praying about/for?

4. What is "circumstance" saying? This is where you examine your context. What are the needs? What are your gifts? What are your "deeds done?" On a practical note, what job openings are available? Can you live on the salary? Are there benefits? There always needs everywhere, but in which direction if your life "trending?"

So what do you do? You sort all this through, pray a lot and then if all else still fails...cast lots.

Sudoku

I'm a word guy, but I can't put down my sudoku lately. I'm lovin' what Josh calls the "number puzzles." For the uninformed, here's the deal with sudoku (from sudoku.com):

"Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. There's no math involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. You solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. It's fun. It's challenging. It's addictive!"

My bud Jeremy blogs about sudoku here (you have to scroll down).

Ready? Go ahead and give it a shot!

Fun from the internet

I suppose the caption would be: Have a safe trip!

Super Bowel

I'm watching the Super Bowl and it's scoreless in the first quarter. But here's my dilemma, one which I'm sure millions are facing even right now:

When do I go to the bathroom?

Not during the game of course. Don't want to miss anything. But you can't go during the commercials either! (love the one in the office with the hidden beer by the way) There's always halftime, except that you run the risk of missing 83 year old Mick Jagger strut around in his spandex and botox lips...um, well, I guess now that I think about it that would be a good time to go...

Bono from the pulpit

I found a transcript of U2 lead singer Bono's recent address to the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington on Ellen's blog. What an AMAZING sermon advocating biblical compassion and service to the poor. It is a worthwhile read. Check it out here.

My private fear

I tell myself that it's good for his hand/eye coordination,
That it really gives him joy,
That it benefits his "visual acuity" (whatever that is),
And that it allows us a chance to "bond."

But the truth is that I'm really, secretly, deeply AFRAID:

ONE DAY (soon), MY SON WILL BEAT ME IN MARIO KART.

It'll go like this: I'm Donkey Kong and I'm on the last uphill before the finish line. Rainbow Road is almost done and I'm out-front. Quick dash to the right around the last of the barking sharks when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes a red shell, check that, THE red shell that spells the end of my fatherly domination. As DK finishes his horrific tumble, Bowser swoops by on the left and takes the checkered flag, prompting my little, adorable, curly-haired muppet of a soon-to-be 4 year old son to cry out, "Daddy, I beat you!"

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to memorize some Mario Kart shortcuts...

What's ahead tomorrow

I love raquetball. I really love it. I miss it. I can't wait to play tomorrow. Check out this amazing picture of one of the greatest sports out there:



Now imagine that impacting against the fleshy part of your lower back...
Are you ready Greenie?!?